yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
and you fell through a lawn chair
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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