1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
