Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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