to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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