Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
