After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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