The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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