im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
