I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
