You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize