Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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