it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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