ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
