I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
