i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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