If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize