I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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