I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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