From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
