Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
