I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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