You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize