you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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