i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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