No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
