If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
