I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
