Me too!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
