"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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