She announced her abortion via fbk
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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