we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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