I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
