i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
