I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Couch. On fire.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
