After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
