Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
