I'm so fucking centered right now
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
