I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and she was petting her beer can
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
