dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
