did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize