I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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