Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
