he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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