I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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