remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize