I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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