I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
