dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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