My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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