its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
