I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
