honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I understand Curling. That high.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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