she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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