I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
