I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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