with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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