We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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