we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
