her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
