i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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